Where I used to sit

All alone in the dark

And dream about things

That I cannot say

You always said destiny

Would blow me away

And nothings gonna blow me away

At Cavanaugh Park

Where you used to take me

To play in the sand

And said to me son

One day you’ll be a man

And men can do terrible things

Yes they can

There was never any place

For someone like me

To be totally happy

I’m running out of clock

And that ain’t a shock

Some things never do change

Never do change

At Cavanaugh Park

We used to get high

Watchin teams as they fought

They loved my friend Adam

But he always got caught

Man that kid made fucking up look cool

Aren’t we all so cool now, No

There was never any place

For someone like me

To be totally happy

I’m running out of clock

And that ain’t a shock

Some things never do change

Never do change

Never do change

Never do change

Never do change

At Cavanaugh Park

Where I used to think

That this life would be good

And I would do things

That I thought that I should

And no ones going to tear me down

There was never any place

For someone like me

To be totally happy

I’m running out of clock

And that ain’t a shock

Some things never do change

There was never any place

For someone like me

To be totally happy

I’m running out of clock

And that ain’t a shock

Some things never do change

Never do change

Never do change

Never do change

Never do change”

– “Cavanaugh Park” by Something Corporate

– Paramore, Misguided Ghosts

Edited @ 11:30am, Thursday October 15, 2009, for brevity (and to minimize awkward phone calls and “intervention” attempts from friends/family.)

Here goes, its OK to resent me, I represent and embody the failure of my parents, the disaster that was my childhood, and pretty much every bad decision I’ve ever made.

Why deny that? Why be ashamed of that? Why sugarcoat it?

My siblings and relatives are more intelligent, more talented, and generally more grounded individuals, and were all guaranteed to succeed in the modern world/life in general.

I’m not.

I’m the failure of the family.

Further, I AM a failure because of me, not because of mom or dad, or anyone else.

So please don’t try to cover-up your resentment, don’t hide it in anyway, just accept it, and live with it, because I’m tired of the bullshit.