So I decided this weekend that in keeping with my planned black & grey interior theme for my car, I was going to cover my door panel inserts in black perforated leather, to match the seats.
I’ve had the leather, and the new door panels (sans window crank holes) for a couple of weeks, but was stalled in figuring out how to cover the inserts.
end result, it either can’t be done, or I simply can’t do it (I lean towards the latter) and I’m out $100 for the project, and now have a completely ruined passenger side rear door panel, so I have only 3 doors in the car right now that no longer have window crank holes.
Oh well… this whole failure thing seems to be a new trend for me.
Its hard to admit that I’m a failure, completely incapable of supporting myself, but I think that maybe its time.
I can hide as long as I want behind the argument that I simply don’t fit into the social contract world we live in today, and it may even be true, but that doesn’t change the fact that insofar as humanity is concerned, I am a failure.
Work. Breed. Die.
Maybe Jill is right… maybe its all just angst, not in an introvert or emo sense, but external, regarding the world as a whole, the utter meaninglessness of life and the sheer horror at the evil that humanity commits against itself and the world everyday, I suppose it would go well with my cynicism, and utter lack of faith in humanity.
Does it even matter?
Well, as of this weekend, I’ve realized a few things things…
1) I don’t want to go to law school and/or be a lawyer
2) I have little to no interest in philosophy anymore
3) I’m going to be lucky to even barely pass my classes this semester
4) I will almost certainly fail out of school if I stay in the philosophy major
5) I will not meet the minimum GPA necessary to maintain my scholarships and I am unsure as to the specifics of any probationary period pertaining to my scholarships, thus, I will probably lose them
6) I have no clue whatsoever what I would prefer to major in
I’m sure there’s more, but those are the key points.
So, any thoughts on what I should do with my life? P.S. stay in school and finish the philosophy degree is not a viable answer, see points #1-6 above.
My brother matt, and sister jill, both succeed, and find happiness….
I fail, at everything.
