Archive for July, 2010

emotions

Jul 15th

Posted by Michael in life

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For the first time in my mem­ory, I don’t feel bad about feel­ing, any­thing at all, happy, sad, excite­ment, fear, ner­vous­ness, and on and on.

I feel like me.

And I like being able to be open and hon­est about how I feel, with myself if I’m shy, or with friends and fam­ily if I want/need their sup­port, advice, etc.

Mostly though, I find I feel excited. Excited by being happy, excited to just be me, and excited to move forward.

still here

Jul 7th

Posted by Michael in life

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I feel guilty for not blog­ging the past few days.

I also feel kind of strange that my pat­tern seems to be con­tin­u­ing, so far, of being totally right about peo­ple hav­ing the wrong frame of ref­er­ence for me, but also, about being very wrong in all my pre­dic­tions of how those peo­ple will react once they have the right frame of reference.

So now I’m start­ing to feel like I’m wait­ing for the other shoe to drop, again.

I just want to be able to move on with my life, I want to con­tinue to feel good about myself every­day, and I want the peo­ple I care about to know that I feel good about myself, and that maybe, my life will actu­ally turn out ok now

I also want a cam­era again, and I’m sure any­one who reads my blog is tired of me post­ing that, since real­is­ti­cally, nobody is going to spend $2k on cam­era and lens, just because I put it on an inter­net “wishlist.”

Still though, I really miss pho­tog­ra­phy, I don’t think I ever real­ized just how much I enjoyed it, until I sold my camera.