I feel more and more like I have to edit myself when I write here, so as every­one (any­one?) can see, I’m writ­ing a lot less.

Most days of my life are lost in a daze right now, I spend most of my time try­ing to for­get just how use­less I am, but every so often (like today) its just not possible.

I really wish that com­fort­ing words and ges­tures can truly change the way things are, but they can’t, not for this any­way, and the real­ity is that I’m still a fail­ure, and I’m still the rea­son I’m a fail­ure, and there isn’t any­thing any­one else can do to change that for me.

Wow, that’s depress­ing, but today was a depress­ing day, so what else do I expect?

Noth­ing.

I expect nothing.