a 26 year teenage existential dilemma…
Meaning
After the initial euphoric high accompanying my first reading of Baar’s “Born Only Once: The Miracle of Affirmation” inevitably the positivity started to subside as the day-to-day meaninglessness of life began to wear on me again.
At this point, I turned to the second book that accompanied Baar upon delivery at my house, “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl.
As best I can tell, both Baar and Frankl agree that “meaninglessness” in life is a direct result of people being inadequately affirmed, and that believing that life is meaningless (as existentialism would have us do) is self-defeating; instead of empowering people, it makes them feel less and less meaningful.
I was definitely surprised by how this seemed to resonate with “Zefrank” and his views/ideas as said in his episode of the show “baseline” (you can watch it here: http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/12/121906.html) In that certain emotions can feed on themselves, but I think it goes a step farther too, at least Frankl does.
To Quote Frankl, “I consider it a dangerous misconception of mental hygiene to assume that what man needs in the first place is equilibrium or, as it is called in biology “homeostasis,” i.e., a tensionless state. What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
Frankl then continues by coining the term “existential vacuum” to mean, “the total sense of internal emptiness/meaninglessness of life that so many people today feel.”
“The existential vacuum which is the mass neurosis of the present time can be described as a private and personal form of nihilism; for nihilism can be defined as the contention that being has no meaning.”
So how then does one overcome the existential vacuum? Frankl would have us believe that its through “logotherapy” his beloved method of psychotherapy that stresses that:
“The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.”
If this were the end of his ideology, I’d have some strong points of contention here regarding the dangers of asserting that meaning is relative, as it allows for all kinds of atrocities to be justified as long as they’re “meaningful” the sociopaths who commit them.
But Frankl you’re smarter than that, so you continue, by stating that responsibleness is the very essence of human existence, and as such, “…the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his psyche, as though it were a closed system. I have termed this constitutive characteristic “the self-transcendence of human existence. It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself– be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself–by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love–the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possibly only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.”
Wow, talk about a big block of text to get your head around. So Frankl, you’re saying what Baar is saying in regards to the futility of self-affirmation, that it has to be given to you by someone or something else external to you, ok, got it.
What interests me more than almost anything, is that both Frankl and Baar devote most of their writing to affirmation/actualization by another person, and yet neither of them deny that it can be found in the non-human world, the world of nature. In fact, Frankl seems to think nature is one of three key ways to give life meaning! “…we can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.”
This throws me back to a key point he mentioned only a few short paragraphs earlier, “It is, therefore, up to the patient to decide whether he should interpret his life task as being responsible to society or to his own conscience.”
I’m not entirely sure what to make of everything. I am amazed by the eloquence with which both authors talk about the “existential vacuum” (which I believe Baar would accept as Frankl’s equivalent of his emotional deprivation disorder) and wholeheartedly agree that finding meaning in one’s life is the single key to inevitably experiencing happiness, for as Frankl writes, “But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to “be happy.” Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically.”
I also tend to agree that there are multiple ways to find the “meaning” to your life, which will likely be ones reason to be happy. The question, that I ask myself over and over, is which way is going to help me find the meaning of my life? And that’s where I feel let-down by Baar and Frankl, they both speak so passionately about the need to be loved/affirmed for the sake of yourself (and not for external reasons) and the need to find meaning in your life, but neither of them offer any kind of solution as to how to go about finding meaning! Baar at least gives some pointers to make oneself more open to affirmation, but Frankl just gives a list of case-studies that showed his psychotherapy to “work” but it feels too forced to me, as though he had to hunt for scenarios that translated decently to his writing. I don’t mean to discredit Frankl, or Logotherapy, but rather to express my frustration that he totally hit the nail on the head, which is frustrating to be so drawn to something, and not have a clear answer at the end, e.g.
“Yes, I feel like life is meaningless, no I don’t want to feel this way, so I need to find the meaning to my life, but HOW do I even begin to start this journey?!”
And after all this quoting and writing, we reach my final point (this post was all started by a facebook comment today that I should just go finish a degree, and get a job, and fall in line) and while its not of the same nature as the works of Frankl and Baar, I feel its relevant to help express my frustration with lack of direction. And I thank one of my amazing photography professors at Moorpark College for this very powerful quote that he had on his office door, as it still speaks to me today, and likely always will:
“At its best, schooling can be about how to make a life, which is quite different from how to make a living. Such an enterprise is not easy to pursue, since our politicians rarely speak of it, our technology is indifferent to it, and our commerce despises it.” — Neil Postman
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about 9 months ago
I think I like Frankl — recognizing that your blog is my sole exposure to his writings! In my experience, his “big block of text” you cite is quite accurate. Read John Donne, as countless college freshmen have — “No Man Is An Island.” We need to be islands at times, but ultimately it is in recognizing that life is relationship-based that we find our way. And we don’t all do it by the same road. As Frankl says. Thanks for presenting those writings here — they’re thought-provoking for me too.
XO, Susan
about 9 months ago
I agree with Susan! And I like the quote at the end too.
The biggest thing I got out of going to college was a life. It wasn’t all about the education for me. Yes I got a degree and learned about lots of interesting topics from my classes, but the expereince of those classes, living away from home and doing things for myself (emotionally and physically) really brought ME out to myself (if that makes sense??). I went to college a really confused and really not self-aware person but when I left college I knew what I wanted, I was doing things for me and not for others and I was happy with all of that cause I knew who I was and I have my experiences for being aways at school to thank for that. I know you don’t know what journey will lead you to this for yourself but I would suggest giving college another shot, and really giving it a shot. Moorpark is not where one “finds themselves” and the navy wasn’t that place either, but you’ve never given going away to school a chance… so why not start your journey there and see where it goes? Hey if you can get in somewhere and get grants to cover you, why not use the free ride to see if it’s a strat to what you are looking for?
Just a suggestion though take it or leave it
Kat
about 9 months ago
p.s. nice “sharing is sexy” social media link haha