Comments on: On Resentment http://www.michaelmallon.net/2009/10/14/on-resentment/ a 26 year teenage existential dilemma... Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:18:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Susan http://www.michaelmallon.net/2009/10/14/on-resentment/comment-page-1/#comment-10 Susan Fri, 16 Oct 2009 05:33:59 +0000 http://www.michaelmallon.net/?p=74#comment-10 Michael, I was going to respond to your un-moderated post, which I read while at Catherine's, but now that I finally have an opportunity to reply it seems you have thought better of some of your assertions and omitted them from the new version. That changes my response—I really wouldn’t let you pin that rap on me! As it is, I’m not too crazy about the reference to “intervention”—when you write a blog you are inviting response. Like an artist who offers a painting for sale, your soul is on the wall. I’m not quite sure what you’re looking for in claiming to be a failure. I haven’t heard anyone besides you say that you’re a failure, nor have I heard anyone suggest that they resent you. In fact, all I have heard or read is love and support for you! How is that resentment? Beyond that, everybody fails. Let me say that again--everybody fails. People who love you can be disappointed, angry, frustrated, discouraged, puzzled, concerned…and still love you!!! In fact, that’s one thing you can’t stop. It bears fruit in hope. A word about my suggesting you get help—when there’s something we can’t do by ourselves we get help. When I couldn’t figure out why the internet kept disconnecting on my new computer, I called my techie. When my back kept going in to spasm, I asked my doctor for a referral to a physical therapist so I could get some tools to keep it from happening again. Now I do strengthening exercises every day, and I don’t shovel snow! When Catherine had post-partum depression, she got counseling so she could get tools to help her deal with that depression. When the Navy diagnosed you with depression, the only logical thing to do is get counseling so you have tools to deal with it. There is nothing about failure in help! So, I’ve loved you since before you were born, there’s not a darned thing you can do or say to change that. Of course you know that. I hope you’ll come up here for Thanksgiving—you’ll have a new little cousin by then, and you’d enjoy getting to know Isabel too. She’s three now, and knows everything. Your gramma would absolutely love to see you. Love, Susan Michael, I was going to respond to your un-moderated post, which I read while at Catherine’s, but now that I finally have an opportunity to reply it seems you have thought better of some of your assertions and omitted them from the new version. That changes my response—I really wouldn’t let you pin that rap on me! As it is, I’m not too crazy about the reference to “intervention”—when you write a blog you are inviting response. Like an artist who offers a painting for sale, your soul is on the wall.
I’m not quite sure what you’re looking for in claiming to be a failure. I haven’t heard anyone besides you say that you’re a failure, nor have I heard anyone suggest that they resent you. In fact, all I have heard or read is love and support for you! How is that resentment? Beyond that, everybody fails. Let me say that again–everybody fails. People who love you can be disappointed, angry, frustrated, discouraged, puzzled, concerned…and still love you!!! In fact, that’s one thing you can’t stop. It bears fruit in hope.
A word about my suggesting you get help—when there’s something we can’t do by ourselves we get help. When I couldn’t figure out why the internet kept disconnecting on my new computer, I called my techie. When my back kept going in to spasm, I asked my doctor for a referral to a physical therapist so I could get some tools to keep it from happening again. Now I do strengthening exercises every day, and I don’t shovel snow! When Catherine had post-partum depression, she got counseling so she could get tools to help her deal with that depression. When the Navy diagnosed you with depression, the only logical thing to do is get counseling so you have tools to deal with it. There is nothing about failure in help!
So, I’ve loved you since before you were born, there’s not a darned thing you can do or say to change that. Of course you know that. I hope you’ll come up here for Thanksgiving—you’ll have a new little cousin by then, and you’d enjoy getting to know Isabel too. She’s three now, and knows everything. Your gramma would absolutely love to see you.
Love, Susan

]]> By: Jill http://www.michaelmallon.net/2009/10/14/on-resentment/comment-page-1/#comment-9 Jill Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:49:37 +0000 http://www.michaelmallon.net/?p=74#comment-9 Despite what you seem to think, I truly didn't have any resentment towards you until this blog entry. At least I had the decency and respect to respond to you personally, which obviously you can't be bothered to do in return. If you really want to consider yourself the victim and failure, then fine. Go ahead. As for why I "take offense" to your previous comments, well, I don't appreciate it when people make assumptions about my thoughts or feelings, particularly when the person is wrong about it. I don't know why you are choosing to alienate yourself from anyone who wants to help you, but you are an adult and that's your choice to make. Honestly, at this point, I'm the one who's tired of the bullshit. I am not happy and successful because I am SMARTER than you, because I am NOT smarter than you are. I'm happy and successful because I worked my ass off to get here and put up with things along the way that I didn't necessarily want to do at the time but were important in order to accomplish my goal of independence and self-sufficiency. I am certainly not more "destined" for anything. That is a load of crap and an excuse for you to remain the victim and quite frankly I'm tired of the excuses. I'm not any smarter or stronger; I just worked harder and didn't give up along the way despite wanting to many times. The only thing Matt and I have that you don't is perseverance, so don't make it about intelligence; that is such a cop out. I am sorry that you are so unhappy with your life, but alienating the people who truly care about you isn't going to make anything better. I'm sad that this seems to be what you want but that's your choice. Despite what you seem to think, I truly didn’t have any resentment towards you until this blog entry. At least I had the decency and respect to respond to you personally, which obviously you can’t be bothered to do in return. If you really want to consider yourself the victim and failure, then fine. Go ahead. As for why I “take offense” to your previous comments, well, I don’t appreciate it when people make assumptions about my thoughts or feelings, particularly when the person is wrong about it. I don’t know why you are choosing to alienate yourself from anyone who wants to help you, but you are an adult and that’s your choice to make. Honestly, at this point, I’m the one who’s tired of the bullshit. I am not happy and successful because I am SMARTER than you, because I am NOT smarter than you are. I’m happy and successful because I worked my ass off to get here and put up with things along the way that I didn’t necessarily want to do at the time but were important in order to accomplish my goal of independence and self-sufficiency. I am certainly not more “destined” for anything. That is a load of crap and an excuse for you to remain the victim and quite frankly I’m tired of the excuses. I’m not any smarter or stronger; I just worked harder and didn’t give up along the way despite wanting to many times. The only thing Matt and I have that you don’t is perseverance, so don’t make it about intelligence; that is such a cop out.

I am sorry that you are so unhappy with your life, but alienating the people who truly care about you isn’t going to make anything better. I’m sad that this seems to be what you want but that’s your choice.

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