Its hard to admit that I’m a failure, completely incapable of supporting myself, but I think that maybe its time.
I can hide as long as I want behind the argument that I simply don’t fit into the social contract world we live in today, and it may even be true, but that doesn’t change the fact that insofar as humanity is concerned, I am a failure.
Work. Breed. Die.
Maybe Jill is right… maybe its all just angst, not in an introvert or emo sense, but external, regarding the world as a whole, the utter meaninglessness of life and the sheer horror at the evil that humanity commits against itself and the world everyday, I suppose it would go well with my cynicism, and utter lack of faith in humanity.
Does it even matter?
You are VERY capable of supporting yourself and of having a magnificent life. You are NOT a failure insofar as humanity is concerned, only insofar as a typical, first-world consumerist culture is concerned. I am HAPPY that you have an utter lack of faith in this world view.
Your struggle for meaning indicates to me your laudable unwillingness to compromise your ideals. YOU matter.
I felt challenged yesterday to answer the three-verb monosyllabic creed of the world that you cite with a Christian equivalent.
This morning I awoke with:
Make. Love. Live.
You are admirably gifted to make something useful with your body and mind, to love others —and perhaps one special other (and with her to bring others into life/LIFE)—and to live—which is a compound of achieving and letting go.
How’s that for a pre-7:00 A.M. effort?